behind the title.

From 2008-2010ish, I wrote 529 posts in a now-closed blog. It went from being solely a creative, healthy outlet for my overactive mind to a powerful healing tool that also inspired Internet friends from around the world. Over the last few years, I have had the strong desire to write again & am flattered by others who have encouraged me to start again because they apparently enjoy my insight on the world and life - despite my quirks & sarcasm. It is true that my passion glows from many of my social media posts, but sometimes what I have to share is just too lengthy to describe on those platforms in order to not completely annoy the hell out of my "friends." ;) So, for those who are crazy enough to want to read the musings that sometimes keep me up at night: Welcome & thank you. Please reply with a comment if you have a blog to share with me!

Regarding the actual title of this post, there are many reasons why I chose There Is Always Hope as the title of this new blog. Some of you who have known me for awhile may already be aware of the "back story," but others may not. As a result of various life experiences the last several years, "hope" is the cheese to my macaroni, my only absolute, & my favorite word.

Below is a glimpse into some of what led me to "hope" & the need to believe in it, as well as share it with others:

• Unhealthy, emotionally-taxing marriage, which ended after nearly 6 years in 2009.
• Breaking my arm that same year.
• Driving myself to the E.R. as a result of thoughts of suicide twice.
• 3 1/2 days spent in the inpatient psychiatric unit & 3 weeks of outpatient therapy.
• Multiple episodes of major depression.
• The most indescribable experience called a "panic attack."
• Living with an anxiety disorder.
• A rollercoaster of relationships since my divorce.
• Loss of friendships.
• Loss of close family members.
• My dad's open heart surgery and troubled health.
• Other family major illnesses.
• Previous job challenges.

But, because of the above experiences, I have...

• become a stronger, happier person knowing "this too shall pass."
• focused only on what is in my control.
• become understanding & accepting that mental illness is not a character flaw.
• one who inspires others by openly speaking about my experiences.
• become okay with seeking help.
• learned to not take life for granted - to truly live in the moment.
• acquired more independence.
• done a lot of self-reflection.
• become more mindful.
• learned to unapologetically be myself.
• followed my gut instincts vs. my heart in regards to relationships - recognizing red flags.
• gained more willpower.
• learned what I deserve, want, & need.
• exercised regularly - something that keeps me going physically, emotionally, & mentally.
• conquered fears.
• learned that ultimately "there is always HOPE."

I am thrilled to report that although life will never be perfect, over the last 3 years I have become the most content I have ever been in my adult life. This includes being free of major panic attacks & depression. I am eternally grateful for the dear friends & family who have loved & supported me unconditionally, which played a big role in me getting to this point in my life.

I once was lost, but now am found. :)